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Top Ten Guilty Pleasure Movies

May 11, 2010

This is a re-post from my Facebook.  It’s a time-honored tale of a girl and her massive DVD collection.  Much like some people hoard old tissue boxes and oil cans from 1932, I hoard movies.  There are some that don’t hold prominence on the front shelf.  I still love them like the little red-headed stepchildren that they are.

10. Conan the Barbarian/Conan the Destroyer


That’s right – I have the special edition that contains BOTH masterpieces. I did not say I was proud. Any movie that has Wilt Chamberlain playing Olivia D’Abo’s bodyguard must be seen at least once.

9. Cherry 2000


Many of you out there will have no clue this movie even exists. Rent it – the plot alone baffles description, but let’s just say it is a post-apocalyptic thriller that involves robots, bounty hunters (“trackers”) and the idea that anyone might take Melanie Griffith seriously in an action role.

8. Adventures in Babysitting


Don’t F *%$k with the babysitter.

7. Resident Evil Apocalypse


Skip the first one, dive straight into the sequel. I don’t care if it is scientifically impossible and I don’t care if it makes sense. Zombie dogs and zombie elementary school kids = cool.

6. Just One of the Guys


One of those great 1980s movies that operates under what I call the “Sexy Librarian Syndrome”. In other words, if you give a girl a bad haircut and horrific clothes, no one will know she’s a babe (or in this case…umm… female). FYI – none of these actors were ever heard from again after this film, according to IMDB.com. Can’t imagine why.
BONUS: It has William Zabka as the “bad guy”. If you don’t know who that is…all I have to say is, “Sweep the leg – No mercy”!

5. Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me


It makes absolutely no sense. And I’ve seen every episode of Twin Peaks multiple times. It’s still fascinating.

4. Legend

Tom Cruise as a mystical fairy-like creature who seems more interested in getting close to Tim Curry than making out with Mia Sara. Maybe it isn’t as fictional as it sounds…

3. Dodgeball


I feel compelled to watch at least 15 minutes of it when it is on cable. Even though I can watch it any time I want to on DVD. It is a sickness.

2. Flash Gordon


He will save every one of us. This movie is so awful it can only be officially annointed as brilliant. In my mind, at least.
Side Note: I can’t resist a movie with a soundtrack by Queen (see: Highlander). The great irony is, I despise all Queen songs with the exception of those used in Flash and Highlander. I don’t understand it either.

1. Can’t Hardly Wait


I don’t know why I am obsessed with this movie. Oh wait, I do.
To quote:
“You know who else I like that didn’t get much play? Velma from Scooby-Doo. She was cool. She was a hip, hip lady. ”

“Why y’all gotta waste my flava? Damn!”

“You know what? My retainer looks like a Klingon warship.”

THERE YOU HAVE IT. Judge me if you must. I feel compelled to share so that this might be an example for others. Admitting you have a problem is the first step towards recovery.
Happy Movie Watching!

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