The Best Bond?
It’s an age-old debate. Let’s spark it up again, shall we?
Who IS the definitive James Bond? Let’s check out the stats, in order from most recent (Craig) to orignal (Connery)
Movies: Casino Royale, Quantum of Solace
Babes Bagged: Vesper Lynde, Agent Strawberry Fields
Positives: Has the menacing, steel blue glare down to a tee. Wears a suit well, but still looks darn good without one. Doesn’t look ridiculous when trying to take down henchmen and baddies.
Negatives: Had to star in Quantum – one of the WORST titles (and worst theme songs)in Bond history and one of the worst scripts, as well. Quick – try and summarize the basic plot of Quantum. Yep, thought so. Arguably, not his fault.
Movies: Goldeneye, Tomorrow Never Dies, The World Is Not Enough, Die Another Day
Babes Bagged: Natalya Simanova, Paris Carver, Elektra King, Dr. Christmas Jones, Jinx, Miranda Frost
Positives: When you think classic, you think Brosnan. He’s tall, fits the description of Bond in the books to the letter, and I would honestly BELIEVE he enjoys that dang martini of legend. Not afraid to insert a wink and a bit of homage to gadgets and yesteryear.
Negatives: It’s hard to believe he could come out on top against some of the baddies he faces. Buff he is not. Then again, it’s tough to look like a bad ass when partnered with Halle Berry and Michelle Yeoh.
Movies: The Living Daylights, Licence to Kill
Babes Bagged: Kara Milovy, Lupe Lamora, Pam Bouvier
Positives: I have a soft spot for Dalton. I think he is the ideal Bond the way Fleming wrote him in the books – steely, cruel and not much humor. These qualities, however, are probably what alienated the Bond core audience. Not enough gadgets, memorable henchmen and an awful first film did him in.
Negatives: The Living Daylights is actually better than I remember it being. It’s still one of the worst Bond movies ever made. Plus, BORING Bond girls for poor Tim.
Movies: Live and Let Die, The Man with the Golden Gun, The Spy Who Loved Me, Moonraker, For Your Eyes Only, Octopussy, A View to a Kill
Babes Bagged: Solitaire, Mary Goodnight, Anya Amasova, Holly Goodhead, Melina Havelock, Stacy Sutton
Positives: Sigh. Do I have to? Well, if pushed – The Spy Who Loved Me didn’t suck TOO much.
Negatives: The opposite of sexy. The man is about as appealing (and has about as much personality) as a bottle of Grey Poupon. Scratch that – at least Grey Poupon has a purpose. It also comes across better on camera. Did I mention that watching Moonraker is much akin to poking ones’ own eyes out with a fork?
Movies: On Her Majesty’s Secret Service
Babes Bagged: Tracy DiVincenzo
Positives: One of the best scripts in Bond moviedom – along with one of the Best Bond Babes – also Bond’s only WIFE.
Negatives: Let’s ponder the rest of Lazenby’s extensive film career. Oh, wait.
Movies: Dr. No, Goldfinger, From Russia with Love, You Only Live Twice, Thunderball, Diamonds Are Forever
Babes Bagged: Honey Ryder, Tatiana Romanova, Pussy Galore, Domino, Aki, Tiffany Case
Positives: The voice, the voice, the voice. Makes Bond seem dangerous enough to be effective and yet sexy at the same time. You don’t know if he’s going to kiss you or kill you (or in what order). Goldfinger is still the best Bond film ever made.
Negatives: Gets stuck with several of the WORST Bond girls ever (Tiffany Case, anyone?). That’s about it.
Who wins your vote?
Feel free to comment down below.